Read This: If You Feel Guilty For Not Enjoying Every Part of Motherhood
If you have children, you’ve probably been told to “enjoy every moment because it goes by so fast!”
True as that may be, if you’re like me, you probably don’t love every part of motherhood. And chances are, you feel guilty about it.
But I don’t think we actually have to enjoy EVERY minute of it.
Hear me out...
I'm finding a LOT of joy in motherhood. It is the most incredible thing I have ever had the privilege of experiencing - and it is a privilege.
ALSO…
I don't enjoy every single moment of it.
AND ALSO…
That’s ok.
I relate it to the joy of a vacation. There is such a thrill to go somewhere different, change up the scenery, and enjoy a break from the chaos. There are also elements of a vacation that I don't enjoy.
I don't enjoy mapping out the travel logistics, packing, or worse, the unpacking and laundry when we get home.
That doesn't mean I didn't embrace the joy of the trip or soak up every moment of togetherness with my family. There were just parts that weren't as enjoyable.
I'm finding motherhood to be like that and maybe you have too.
While there are parts of motherhood that aren't as enjoyable, we can still soak up the joy of our children.
For example, I do NOT enjoy the current stage of toddler eating. Who knew that opening a banana the wrong way would lead to a meltdown. Most meals I am frazzled, frustrated and left wondering if I fed him enough or enough of the right things. Not to mention IT IS SO messy!
AND ALSO…
I love watching him try new things. I love watching him feel proud when the overfilled spoonful actually makes it to his mouth, all by himself. There is joy in that.
It is a bit of a mix. joy and challenge.
But here’s where it get’s complicated.
The reality is, time does go by extremely quickly. We are constantly reminded of this from those who have been in the parenting shoes (and sometimes even from those who haven’t). So we feel this pressure to soak it all up with smile. But what happens when there are parts of motherhood that aren’t joyful and happy?
What about during the embarrassing store tantrum?
What about when we see our child hurting?
What about when our child is sick and we wait for a doctor to ease our panic?
What about when they puke all over the place?
What about when they are mean, rude or insensitive?
Do we REALLY have to enjoy all of that?
I don’t think we do. Not every single moment is happy and that’s ok.
I’ll say it again for myself, THAT IS OK.
That is a moment, a season a phase and Lord willing, it will pass and improve.
So what do we do then if we know it goes by quickly and we are told to enjoy every moment but we know not every moment is full of smiles and laughter?
We trust that God is working and using whatever mess, pain, frustration or challenge to grow us closer to Him. He is changing our hearts to rely on His strength when we just can’t take it anymore. He is reminding us that this child was Divinely placed into our life to mother and that He will equip us to love, care and guide this little life.
He is reminding us that this LIFE (and our children) aren’t the source of our joy. He is.
We can love and enjoy our children, feel deeply grateful for motherhood AND not always enjoy every. single. moment.
Because when our joy is rooted in the Creator of good things, we can take the pressure off of every moment carrying the expectation of joy that only He can provide.